I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, Alexis Mae, at seven a.m. in the morning. It was January twelfe and I had been there since three the previous day. It had snowed an enormous amount all night long and was very mystical outside. My parents and a few of my very close friends were there to help support me. When she did finally arrive, I took one long look at her precious, tiny, round shaped face my whole perspective and outlook on life changed in a matter of seconds. I knew right then and there that I had to be somebody for this little angel. I had to become a good example. Someone to look up to. An idol, a hero, and I wanted to do it right then and there.
Over the next couple of weeks I was dying to start my new life of providing and setting a good example for Lexi. At the same time I was having issues. I didn’t feel right leaving her so soon after birth however I knew that that feeling would never change over the months or even years. I still to this day, six months later, have a hard time leaving her. I just have to keep telling myself that the only reason im leaving her for a couple hours a day is to better both of our lives.
As soon as I felt okay enough to leave her for a couple hours a day I did. I was out looking for jobs and looking into returning back to school. I hadn’t graduated high school so college wasn’t an option yet. However getting my GED was an option.
I talked to a couple people in regards to how i would go about getting my GED and where I would have to go to do so. I found out that they had an orientation at the Olympic College and I got so excited I immediately signed up.
When I went to the GED orientation, mind you it had been about five years or so since last doing anything school related, it all sounded like so much. I kind of got discouraged. I remember thinking “I’m not going to be able to do this,” and “this is going to take forever”. I didn’t quit though. I got signed up for some pre GED classes.
At first I wasn’t taking it seriously. Probably because I did not think I could do it. After a couple of classes I finally took a reading pretest. The next day it was rainy and I was in a dull mood. I showed up to class and had totally forgotten I had taken the pretest. The teacher started passing back some papers and then I remembered what I had done the previous day. After about 15 people getting their scores passed back It was finally my turn. Out of respect for other people in the class the teacher passed them back face down. I can remember my palms being sweaty and my heart was racing like a little birds would. I flipped over that piece of people and suddenly felt a sigh of relief. I had passed and I had gotten a better score than the class average.
I got so excited I ran out of the classroom and called everyone that matter to spread the joy. First was my mommy. I was so thrilled she couldn’t even understand what I was saying. “Slow down daughter” is what she said to me. She has called me daughter for as long as I can remember. After a few seconds of trying to catch my breath I repeated myself. She wasn’t as shocked as I was. She knew that I would be able to do it.
Next I called my dad and the joy that I heard in his voice was so indescribable. It made me cry. Hearing the happiness in his voice just made me want to excel in everything that was to come. But once again I got discouraged. The next day I found out that to pass the GED, one part of it was that you had to write a standard five paragraph essay and they didn’t give you a heads up on what the topic for your essay would be. It was a secret which made it even more nerve racking. However I jotted it down during the last twenty minutes of class and got my passing scores the next day.
There were two different classes for the GED pretesting. One class went over the reading, writing, science and social studies parts of the test and the other class went over the math. I would say there were about twenty people per each class. Out of both classes I only knew one person and he was in the reading, writing, science and S.S. class. We have struggled a very hard life together and have also completely turned our lives around. His name was Evan.
One day after we got our last pretest scores back, which I also passed, our teacher asked Evan and I to stay after class. At first I thought she had found out about our past and had something to say about it. It was kinda weird. We were both trippen, wondering what this was all about. After everybody left she informed us that we had gotten the highest scores out of the whole class and in her opinion we were ready to go start taking the actual tests. We were totally shocked, dumbfounded. The two ex-drug addicts of the class, that we knew of, had gotten the highest scores.
With that said I had to find out how I was going to come up with the money to pay for the actual GED test. I called my dad and told him what had happened with the teacher and what she had told me. His words were “GO TAKE THE TEST!!!!” before I could even finish explaining to him that it cost seventy five dollars he said he would pay whatever it cost.
After a couple of days It was time to go take my GED. I was so excited and again so panicked. I took the test and immediately afterward I felt again discouraged, like there was no way I passed. I had to wait a couple days to get my results and the whole time I just kept thinking that I was going to have to take some of the tests again.
Two days later I got four out of five of my results. I PASSED ALL FOUR OF THEM!!!! I still had to wait three weeks for the writing and essay part of my test but I knew that I would be fine and that I would have my GED when they arrived. Three weeks passed and it was confirmed. I had my GED.
I am so grateful for my daughter. She completely changed my life for the better. I am surely and slowly becoming the person that I knew I needed to be for her.
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